Um, yes please.

My roommate has a coffee maker that is programmable, so that you can set it to brew while you sleep and wake up to a hot cup of coffee immediately. Best thing ever.

Elephant Story

At this time of year, I like to read short stories before I go to sleep at night. I find that I need some light fiction to get all the law out of my head, and I like the short story format, because it doesn't keep me up all night turning pages like a good novel would. Last night I read a really odd and funny one, and this morning I managed to find the text of it on the internet to share.

Enjoy!

Not quite what I was looking for

When you google the phrase "Common Usage", this article is the fourth hit. It's fokken amusing.

Gaaaahhhh!

You know that feeling like you're going to sneeze, that you desperately need to sneeze, and you can't? I was literally sitting here, moments ago with that feeling. And I didn't sneeze. But then I thought, "Gee, I've sneezed A LOT today." And then I realized that about 30 minutes ago I was thinking that I could really use a kleenex, or possibly a hatchet to chop my nose off with, cause my nose was itching SO MUCH. And then I said out loud, "OH MY GOD. IT'S THE FIRST WEEK OF MARCH."

[insert lots of dammits and shits here]

Here we go again.